- Dating a workaholic
- 19 Women Confess What It's Really Like To Date A Workaholic
- No Home Life
- Women Talk About What It's Like To Date A Workaholic Guy - AskMen
It is possible to date a workaholic if you're prepared to talk through the issues, develop ground rules together that both of you are happy to keep, and find compromises that both of you can live with.
If you believe it's worth trying to find a way through your date's workaholism, the following steps will give you an idea of how to approach the challenge, even if it does mean ultimately that you discover that this date's just not the one for you. To create this article, 21 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. This article has also been viewed , times. Featured Articles Commitment Issues Workaholism.
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How to Date a Workaholic Author Info. Determine if your date is a workaholic. Some telltale signs include: You're the only person outside of your date's family who is intimate. He or she has no other friends unless they're also at the same workplace. He or she puts aside everything in favor of work, including you. Every time you contact your date, he or she is "still working", no matter what the hour. Your date seems to have a poor perception of time. Even important events such as a family birthday are not enough to convince your date to drop working.
Your date answers the phone, checks and sends emails , or makes orders for new supplies all the way through a date. Try to be understanding before jumping to negative conclusions. It can be really frustrating when your date is never available to attend the same functions and activities as you but it is important to try to understand the drive, passion, and importance of work for your date. Learning why work is so important to your date can increase your own understanding and appreciation of the needs behind working so hard.
Consider the possible reasons behind what you're seeing as workaholism: The job matters a great deal to your date. It is a passion , especially if it is your date's own business or something that he or she wanted to do all of his or her life. There is a current heavy workload and your date is conscientious at doing his or her part to meet deadlines and workloads. The job comes with long hours, including nights and weekends.
Dating a workaholic
If your date accepts this, it is important for you to learn to accept it too. It has become a habit well before you came along, and it's tough to break it. Talk to your date about his or her work life. Find out all that you can about what inspires and drives your date at work. Perhaps understanding this better will help you to cut them some slack.
Although all of these are indicators that your date may be permanently busy, they can arouse some sympathy in you. It's a business start-up always a very hard time of life. Your date is seeking a promotion and the only real way to be considered for it is to be seen working hard all of the time. Your date comes from a family of hard-workers and was brought up to perceive excessive working hours as the "norm".
And is perfectly happy with it! Look to your own beliefs and attitude about working. Ask yourself what your own attitude to work is to see whether you're making more of the matter than it deserves, or perhaps confusing ambition with workaholism. If you don't think it's a good idea to do more than the bare minimum at work, or you're someone who has a job that doesn't bleed beyond set hours, you might have a very different mindset from your date about the level of dedication to work.
On the other hand, if you're a reformed workaholic, or someone who believes deeply in a work-life balance , what you're observing may already be a good indicator of warning signs for your relationship's prospects. It can help to see some of the benefits of dating a workaholic: You get a lot of time to yourself to pursue your own interests without having your date breathing down your neck all the time.
Your love life might be better and healthier than you expect — research undertaken by psychology professor Jonathon Schwartz showed that sexual satisfaction scored the highest for women dating or married to workaholics. Talk to your date about how their workaholism makes you feel. This is the point at which you might be able to reach a compromise.
19 Women Confess What It's Really Like To Date A Workaholic
Or, it might be the time when you realize that your workaholic date is taking the workaholism too far and won't ever really fit you in. Tell your date how it feels to play second fiddle to his or her job and provide some factual examples of times when your date's work has interfered with your dating life together. Explain that you fully understand his or her passion for the job but that you want some balance so that the two of you also have quality time together. Just state the facts and how the merry-go-round of never being sure whether or not your date is available is affecting you personally.
It is important to remember that "for workaholics, all the eggs of self-esteem are in the basket of work"  , so criticizing their work decisions won't endear you to your date. Explain how you would like things to be, and in doing so, be realistic. Asking for a little more time together is reasonable but asking for your date to get a new job is not! Agree on some ground rules. If you feel that your date has responded well to your talk, suggest that the two of you make some ground rules, or compromises , to ensure the health of your dating life.
While you will probably not get the extent of agreement to more time together that you're looking for, go into this negotiation in good faith, expecting to lower some of your own expectations as well if you're prepared to make this work. Ask that your date turn off his or her phone during a date unless it is an extreme emergency.
Ask for no texting or emailing during the date. Consider having certain nights set aside for just the two of you minus work. Purchase a better man.
No Home Life
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Women Talk About What It's Like To Date A Workaholic Guy - AskMen
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- How to Date a Workaholic: 8 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow.
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